House Head

On Sunday, I enjoyed a very special, very fantastic trip down House lane. I went to a slammin' party at Bubbles on Samson Street. My friend Vashti invited me. Her boy Ian was spinnin'. I decided to go and boy am I glad I did. To my surprise, the party was for a friend of mine, Lisa Andrews. We go way back to CAPA (Creative and Performing Arts High School) and to my undergrad Lincoln University.The party came complete with some Lincoln House Heads. Shout out to Darian, Damian, and Tammy and Julani's friend ( I don't remember his name). Now to complete this wonderful trip was a cameo by none other than Tee Alford the ultimate House Head DJ this side of the globe. And, he was spinnin' at a party later that evening. Of course, Vashti and I hit that one up too. We clubbed like we were back in college.

First, the party at Bubbles ran from 5 to 10 pm, an hour reasonable for us 40 something -year-old mommies and wives. Tee's party on 18th Street next to Byblos, I think the place is called Venango or something like that, started at 10 pm. All in all, it ended up to be a doable Sunday night party. I was a serious House Head. I mean, while in grad school at Temple, I partied almost every night and still managed to get the second highest score on my comps and graduate with a GPA above 3.0. Partying was my reward for busting my booty (as my son likes to put) studying and attending classes. In undergrad, I partied as well.

Do you remember Catacombs, the Black Banana, Limelight, Phoenix, Sunday's at the Impulse, Mahorns, Allegro/A2, Smarts, Stars, After Midnight, the Garage in NY, Red Parrot, Silver Shadow, the Palladium, Bentley's, Nell's? The list goes on and on. So, I want to thank Vashti for getting me out. I remembered so many wonderful times. I often forget the person I was before I became a wife and mommy. It was so nice to see that Rhashidah again. Now, on Sundays, I'll have an opportunity to hang out with her and remember what made us tick.

P.S. I've included a link to Tee's website Funky People On Line.

Happy Birthday King Titan Jones

Love Ya!

Requited Mother's Day: A Tribute to Ernie

So I got myself together and remembered all the things I'm thankful for. It didn't hurt getting a smooch from Tee, my three-year-old son. My mother is smiling right now. It it weren't for her, I wouldn't have known of unconditional love. For that I am grateful. To you, Ernie, I give this tribute: You are a remarkable woman and the best mom a gal could ever have.

Unrequited Mother's Day

I woke up this morning with a deep sense of despair. First, I thought it was because of the primary yesterday, but Barack trounced Hillary in North Carolina and she barely won in Indiana--a state that she should have done well in. It appears that barring a last minute onslaught of anti-Barack media served-up by Clinton spin doctors and campaign operatives (images of Rev. Wright in Pennsylvania, Clinton's campaign misrepresenting Obama's aide's NAFTA comment in Ohio, and over blowing Barack's remarks in Pennsylvania), she loses. Oh they tried with--heck I don't even remember the allegation because Obama's camp readily and handily squashed it as they should have been doing all along. So I knew that wasn't it. I wondered and prayed for God to help me lift this despair. The image of Neo being debugged in a scene from The Matrix came to mind as I prayed. I hoped it wouldn't be that unpleasant, but the need for the release is great. I prayed that God would allow my mother to help me ease the hurt and then it came to me. It is nearly Mother's Day--marking the 15th Mother's Day without my Mom.

My eyes are cloudy and sting from the salt from my tears as I write this. I thought, maybe I should call someone, maybe write in my journal--I even thought if a drink would help. No, I'll blog. The journal wouldn't do because I know that no one else reads it. Even if no one comments here, I do feel like I am sharing with others and for some reason, that helps.

I miss my mother so very, very much at times I just don't know what to do. I think picking out the Mother's Day cards last night helped get here. I didn't realize it then. I do delay purchasing Mother's Day cards. Now, I know why. So what do I do? I'll be sad for awhile, I'm sure. This feeling in the pit of my stomach will subside as the day's demands take over. At some point I will decide to celebrate her life and will thank God for her. I will remember all of the things I am grateful for. But for now, I will be depressed and continue to feel pain, sorrow and anguish. I think I can take this time to feel the void.

I miss you mommy and I love you.

Can One Teach Humility?

Hass has been feeling herself lately. I'm okay with that. I think a girl (and boy for that matter) needs a healthy self-esteem. What I am bent on teaching is that one can think highly of ones self without thinking poorly of others. For some reason, this lesson is a bit tricky. How do you do it?

I try to explain that we must be grateful for our blessings and show humility. (Yeah, fancy an eight year-old getting that). That some may not have the same, but that doesn't mean that any one is necessarily "beneath" another. With all of our families troubles, struggles, tribulations, successes, and triumphs, Allah has blessed us as Allah has blessed many others. We need to be grateful and to accept these blessing with humility. Without the knowledge of the greatness of Allah, and humility that we express in receiving Allah's blessings, Allah can decide to take them away. We must show Allah that we are grateful and deserving. We don't do that by showing Allah who we think is not. It is not up to us to judge that. It is up to us to make character assessments about those whom we consider part of our circle. That is it. Those are decisions that we must make based on our values governed by our love of Allah and the universe He created.

Ben Franklin Blues

Oh my, oh my... Could you imagine being in a padded room with 100 billion 8 year- olds all trying to literally climb up the wall? I can, 'cause that it what is was like going to the Franklin Institute with my daughter's third grade class. I mean, I didn't know that kids where that excited about science. They were quite excited about the old faithful heart which was surprising to me. That thing is as least as old as I am and looks it. New exhibits like the Sports Challenge, Sir Issac's Loft, and others really got them going --and me (and other parents) after them. We are members and have seen these exhibits time and time again, but when experiencing these exhibits with 11 third graders (no kidding 11. And I must say go girl to Yolanda because she and I really held it down!) was exhilarating.

Unfortunately, if you don't have a membership or know someone that does or don't get reduced ticket prices, it gets expensive. I'm originally from New York, and when taking my children to the wonderful art, science, and history museum there--from borough to borough---I am truly grateful. See, my parents didn't have to pay enormous amounts for entry into cultural activities like those I mentioned and the borough botanical gardens, in New York you pay what you can. I think that is one of the reasons why my brother and I have such an affinity for the arts. Our parent took us regularly. Heck, my mom would just say see wants to see Water Lilies and pack us up to go. If she had to pay $10 a pop for us, I don't know if I would have developed this fondness. I don't know if we would have gone to the museums and zoos as often as we did. New York's cultural organizations enjoy a huge endowment from what I understand. It would be really cool if Philadelphia could explore the same and provide equal access to the splendor of the creative and scientific world.

Until then, Ben try not to be blue because thousands don't get a chance to see you.

His Touch

I have never been one to enjoy male company "up under me." I have always been fiercely independent and relished the idea of being smothered by the physical manifestations of a male's love. All of that changed when Tee came along. He was breast-fed until being weened (with strong resistance) when he was two. At three and a half, he still has a deep affinity for "Mommies breastesses." He sneaks in a caress at each and every opportunity.

Hass and I didn't do that as much. I had my morning cuddling sessions with her. She didn't seem to want all of that--ours we're definitely limited to no longer than three minutes, then she was off to explore. Even now I often must sneak in my hugs and kisses despite her protests. I have noticed, of late, her desire for a physical closeness to Mommy which I have been enjoying. It is always on her terms and usually at the most inopportune times--when she is getting dressed for school or supposed to be going to bed. Although some would say there is no wrong time for affection with one's child, I think these affectionate moments are a delaying tactic more than Hass actually wanting my embrace. On those more frequent cuddling exchanges while watching television, I really get a chance to enjoy her. She has such delicate movements when you really watch her. I don't think I was ever that graceful. I mean, without really working on it. Since my mom is no longer around, I really can't ask her directly (she and I do have a way to communicate through our love and God's love). I can't believe much of my grandmother's recollections. According to my father, I was graceful too. I'm not keen on that recollection. As I remember at nine, I had bloody ankles because I couldn't stop rubbing them together while I walked. Hass definitely doesn't have that problem.

Tee, rarely protests affection. Our morning cuddling sessions are one of the highlights of my day. Along with his "silly, silly, dance" that he does when taking off his pajama top. He has this way of letting the top sit on top of his head, almost like a jester's hat and he does this dance where he wiggles his hips from side to side (he wiggles his entire lower body as a matter of fact) and sings "silly , silly, silly." It is quite adorable. He rested he pajama top on his head like that once and I said with a big smile "you are so silly." That was the birth of the silly dance.

I am working on increasing the "touches" with my children. It is fine for my children to want to be "up under me." It doesn't mean they are trying to impede on my sense of independence, they are not putting on a display to "stake their claim" on me, nor are they trying to set a mood---they just like being close to Mommy and that is a-okay with me.

Smooches!