Evening Primrose Oil-- A Woman's Best Friend

It took me nearly five years to realize, as well as my doctors, that I've entered perimenopause. I mean, I've had bouts with depression, gained wait, had night sweats, and the final breaking point--anxiety. Anxiety did it. I had to find out what the heck was going on with me and I did. I've been taking evening primrose oil, soy, and a phyto-estrogen supplement from Whole Foods to help me. They have worked and provided oh so much relief!

Father's Day

You know, I couldn't find a good Father's Day card for my father this year. I found one from the kids, but couldn't find one with an adequate representation of my feelings or our relationship for that matter. My father always gets me and Hasana these really beautiful blank cards for our birthdays. I looked for a blank card but couldn't find one. My father and I are cool. Strange description for a father daughter relationship, but it's the best way to describe it. He's a unique person who's managed to basically live life as he saw fit. I do admire--and in a way envy--him for doing so. But the costs, wow the costs....

Light Deficiency or Perimenopause

I mean it when I say, not having sunlight really affects me. It affected me even more before I began taking my Evening Primrose Oil---part of my perimenopausal cocktail. Yes, I said perimenopause. I was going through it: night sweats, anxiety, serious weight gain, I had it all. But I've found a cocktail that has been working. I haven't perfected it yet, but it provides me with some serious relief.

It's rained all week. Hopefully, the sun will show her pretty face soon.

Inspiration

Last night, I was fortunate enough to be amongst 18 dynamic women-artists who were selected to receive the Leeway Foundation Art and Change Grant, myself included. Being in their presence was so liberating, inspiring, and just overall awesome. I was able to share my project, Raising Hasana, blog to come, where I interview parents raising African American children with ADHD and compile that information book and that my fellow grantees were very interested in the project. It also made me realize that I'd better start interviewing and writing!

Models of Leadership: Raw and Explicit Version

OK, we're on the heels of the inauguration of our first African American president. In my last entry, it was the day before. Today, is several months afterwards. Needless to say, I'm very happy and hopeful about this presidency and 2009 for that matter. What I want to talk about today is female leadership, particularly female leadership in politics. I can only discuss and attempt to analyze what I am most familiar with so, for all intents and purpose (something that my professor at Temple often prefaced with his lectures), these are empirical observations.

It seems to me that there is a distinct difference between being tough and being a bitch. Sorry for those women activists who think this is a slight. Anyway, often I see women (and men) try to be tough, but instead come of as being a bitch. That is, leadership marked by a narcissism and fear that engenders a pettiness and passive aggressive (punk-bitch) retributive style of correction i.e. punishment. That is, if you do something to me (anything at all, nothing that threatens one's power in a real sense, but something that one perceives to threaten one's power), I will do something back to hurt you. By no means do I believe that one should sit idly by if one is being attacked. But the nature of one's response is a key factor in determining one's leadership style.

I think women often often try to be tough, but actually come of being a bit bitchy. Men do this too. Being tough means providing a response to a threat or attack without taking a "dig" --that extra step that says don't f**** with me, if you do, I will with you. I think the tough approach is more so if you f**** with me, I will protect myself and will create an offensive strategy for you and you action, if deemed necessary, will be corrected. The punk-bitch and bitch style are always defensive. Passive aggressive responses to attacks and subtle responses are different. It is fine to let folks know your power, but you don't necessary have to usurp another's power at the first sign of aggressive or to retain your own. Some folks recognize subtleties. Passive aggression sends the wrong message and just pisses people off. Punishment scares folks and pisses them off. Those that are scared are not empowered and those that are pissed off---well that's a whole nother animal i.e. the Middle East before and after the US invasion of Iraq. Correction is the best policy. One's response to an attack---if you must respond and you always should either directly to or building an offensive--must be corrective. So, being tough means being corrective and standing your ground when it comes to your ideas when it comes to attacks. It doesn't mean punishment or, at least, I don't think it should.